Royston Blake on the Olympics

Been watching them Olympics on the telly. What's all this about the hammer throw? That ain't a fucking hammer. Try pinging a nail in with that and you'll put your fucking skull through. Also had a gander at the runners doing the 100 yards. I swear, over 40 yard I could murder them cunts one and all. But 100 is way too much. I ain't built for long distances.

Nah, the one I'm waiting for is the Paralympics. Neil Coates from school were in the Paras, and he telled us afterwards that the training is the hardest a man can do. They had strong fellers chucking their guts on the roadside out of pure pain, and one or two even carking it from sheer knackeredness. So you can't blame Neil for deserting - he'd have been dead after a few weeks of that, what with him being a streak of piss and a bit ginger. Paras is the hardest regiment in the world, and it stands to reason they gave em a special Olympics just for them.

Can't fucking wait for it.

Your mate,

Blakey