Borders

Shame about this, and I really hope they can find a clever buyer who can make it work again. In my London days I used to spend hours in the flagship Oxford Street branch (sadly already closed). I discovered so many writers in there, just from being able to sit down on a couch with a book for a while. When my first book came out, that was the London store I first checked to see if they had it in. They did, but it was only in the crime section and not in the more prominent "new books" section downstairs. So I got a copy and took it down there, placing it front-out in front of a pile of someone else's book (dog eat dog, babe). Then I stood back and watched, pretending to read a copy of Heat magazine. Sure enough, a man came along and picked it up. He read the first page for a bit then put it back. Bastard!

Happy Thanksgiving...

...to all yanks out there. As a special present (*cough*) to mark the occasion, I can let you know that Stairway to Hell will be published over there and in Canada by Serpent's Tail in June 2010. Any North Americans who already have it, you guys are ahead of the curve. You are able to speak several languages instinctively, work out the square root of any number in less than a second and jump over a car without touching it. You just don't realise it yet.

What do you call a man with three planks of wood on his head?

R.I.P. Edward Woodward, who was an iconic presence for anyone who loved The Equalizer, The Wicker Man, Callan, Hot Fuzz or many others. On top of that he was the punchline of a joke (see above) AND could sing with the best of 'em:

I am a mole and I live in a hole

Five Stairway to Hell-themed questions answered by me at 3am Magazine. They'll make you cry. They'll make you laugh. They'll make you blow your overdraft. On Stairway to Hell... which you can get in a nice double deal along with my first book Deadfolk for a nice £9.52 over at Amazon.co.uk. Hey, it's nearly Christmas.

(Shit, Charlie, didn't anyone tell you it's uncool to promote your wares on your own website?)

No, they didn't. And if anyone knows of someone else's website I can hawk my shit on, drop us a line. For we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl.

Thank you Susan Tomaselli for the five probing questions.

"It was not immediately clear if any customers had been served"...

Now I know why there is a Russian edition of Deadfolk.

KENT AND PANTS

Had a good time at the Kent Uni event, where I stood up in front of students, read a couple of passages from my books and talked about writing. However, halfway through the proceedings I became convinced that my flies were undone. I didn't see how I fix this - or even confirm my suspicions - without looking like I was fiddling with myself. I was in Royston Blake character mode, reading the forklift passage from King of the Road, but my heart wasn't in it. It was in my pants, wondering if everyone could see them. And worse: was that a cool breeze I just felt down there? As soon as it was over I sat down and very subtly checked.

False alarm.

So, to the students of Kent who came, apologies. You got a watered down version of Blakey there, due to my anxieties. Usually he's a lot louder and more vehement. And let's be honest: Blakey wouldn't give a shit if his flies were undone.

Kent Event

A bit late, this, but if you happen to want to come to my event at Kent University tomorrow, here are the details:

Tue, 10th November, 6pm

Peter Brown Room, Missing Link, Darwin College, Canterbury Campus

£2 entry - pay the pink bucket at the door.

Tickets available at the door or by post. Please email english-office@kent.ac.uk to reserve or purchase a ticket.

More details here. I will be talking about writing, doing a little bit of reading (aloud) and answering questions. See you there if you're around.

These boots were made for

No, not some pervy fetish thing, I'm afraid. This is the prefered footwear of Adam Booth, trainer of David Haye (6'4"), who on Saturday night fights Nikolai Valuev (7'0"). When you can't find sparring partners tall enough, this is what you do.

My prediction: Valuev pts victory. He is just too big. (Also his manager is German, the fight is in Germany, and German judges are, shall we say, loyal to their own).

FWIW, I kind of want the big Russian to win. He is no Ivan Drago, more of a Shrek. Haye is by far the superior fighter, but I can't help but admire a guy who, after 50 fights, openly admits he is still learning to box. He'll come unstuck against either Klitchko brother anyway, if he ever was made to fight them.