Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Dead Sales

Got an email from the late David Veronese this morning offering me cheap meds online. Is this the logical next step in a commercial world that has exhausted every sales channel - recruiting a sales force of the dead?

No more can we hope for oblivion in death - already I've seen zombies working the tills at some branches of Asda. But David Veronese, author of the overlooked noir classic JANA? I foresee a black market in the online identities of the dead. The bigger you are in life, the more your email account will sell for in death. But you'll still be selling V1@gr@ and C1@l15.

Dave, you are not forgotten and I'm confident you would have seen the humour in the above. But if I'm wrong in that, drop me an email and we'll sort it out.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Book Trailer

Alright, here's how book trailers should really be done (WARNING: contains guns):

Thursday, July 08, 2010


No, not the classic Vauxhall of the 60s and 70s, I mean the Spanish viva, which is a word meaning "shit car", or something. Anyway, congrats to Spain on reaching the World Cup final. In honour of this unprecedented success, here is an extract from the end of chapter 9 of GENTE MUERTA (Spanish version of Deadfolk), translated back into English via google translate. (Regular readers will already be familar with the Russian/googlish version of this passage)...

As I got home, I put my favorite sweatpants pry me watching TV. They were making a movie about a guy who was engaged to kill turkeys, so I went for a can and sat down again. I thought about going to the basement in search of Baz, but it would not help. Or was there or was not. And as he had looked before and it was, was unlikely to find it now. The movie was a bit boring. Whenever the prota pulled the knife and was about to crack an aunt, the scene changed. I found a channel zapping and in which two turkeys were eating the mouth and touching her tits. Was ok. I took it out and I went with the story. As I finished, I felt much more relaxed, but was still made broth. I closed my eyes so my eyes will rest a few seconds. I did not mean to sleep or anything like that. I woke up the phone. Or hit the door. Not sure. Whatever it was, it was nice to wake so, I assure you. I got the rack and stood up, wondering what the hell happened. I opened the front door.