The Clacker

It's the Easter holidays...

Why not take your kids to...

...the nightmare playgrounds.

Ever wonder what happened to the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers?

Here's your answer.

Newsletter

Anyone interested in Mangel and Royston Blake should sign up to my newsletter. I will be saying something about a possible fourth book in a couple of weeks. You also might have been morbidly amused by this recent news item.

Shapeshifter

You know I hinted at some James Blunt lyrics I was possibly working on? Well here they are, perhaps. What do you think? I think they're theoretically the best work I've ever done:

Royston Blake (dressed for a court appearance) with Uma Thurman

Thingio

I've jazzed up my website a bit. Hardly anything at all really but it makes you feel like you've made an effort. Anyway, one bit I've added is a thingio so people can join my mailing list. Do you fancy it? All it means is you'll get the occasional, highly entertaining newsletter from me saying that I've got a new book out, or perhaps that I'm standing for parliament or something. The thingio in question is on the front page. Give it a go. I'd appreciate it.

INJURED DUCK GIVES BIRTH TO GIANT ROBOT

A duck in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania has given birth to a giant robot. The robot immediately fled the scene and is unavailable for comment. The duck was later shot by a hunter and thrown into his refrigerator, presumed dead. Two days later the killer's wife inadvertently let the duck go, whereupon it fled the premises and flagged down a passing truck, despite the hunter chasing after it with a chainsaw. Unfortunately the duck later passed away on the operating table, during surgery to mend broken wings, legs and beak. But the duck then came back to life and started meowing like a cat. The duck now resides in a mental institution, and is being examined by psychologists. 'We don't believe it is a duck,' said Dr Portland. 'We're not sure what it is.'

Enjoy looking at strange fish?

Then check out these babies. They don't come stranger.