Meet the Deadfolk: Finney on Finney

I want you to meet Finney. People in Mangel don't have a good opinion of Finney. Due to one or two mistakes he has made in the past, they think he is less than bright. But what he lacks in intelligence, Finney more than makes up for in action. Finney might be a dosser but he is not lazy. He is a doer. Never more so than when Royston Blake needs a hand...

Name:	Finney
Birthplace:	Mangel
Occupation:	n/a
Fave film:	Rocky III

"I ain’t got a brother but you don’t need one when you got a mate like Blakey. Me and him has knowed each other for yonks, going right back  to when we was borned in the ozzie. It’s funny that, how certain folks gets tied to each other and has to go through life together. It can be a pain at times, especially when Blake gets wedded or goes off on one of his schemes. You can lose him for a bit then. But only for a bit. He always comes back, and he always needs my help in the end. See, he can’t do it without me. Like I says, him and me is like brothers. And brothers looks out for each other. Even when they hits you sometimes. Not that I'm complaining about that. Blakey gives you a slap, it's cos you deserves it. He's been on that door at Hoppers for fucking donkeys and seen every kind of cunt, and knows when to let em by and when to school em. I needs a bit more schooling than the average, I reckon. But I'm getting there. One day I'll make him proud of us."

Deadfolk

Meet the Deadfolk: Jess on Jess

We've all met the Muntons. They're the ones who gave you a bill for a new head gasket when all you had was a dodgy fan belt. They're the ones who doorstep you about gardening services while the other slips round the back and nicks your TV. They're the ones who are said to have chopped up that bloke. You know, the one who went missing. Rumours abound about these guys. But are those rumours unfair? Take Jess - maybe people are just afraid of him because he doesn't talk much? Give him a chance, let him talk in a non-threatening, pressure-free environment and I'm sure we'd see a decent guy who is just misunderstood. Let's find out...

Name:	Jess Munton
Birthplace:	Mangel
Occupation:	Mechanic
Fave film:	Animal Farm

"I likes my brothers. I likes our van, which you gotta call the Meat Wagon. I likes meat. And I likes my chainsaw. I named it Susan, after a girl I knowed at school. None of the others used to talk to me much at school. Not even teachers. They’d shout at us a bit and say hard stuff to us about maths and that, but no one asked us nothing. Susan did. The girl, I mean, not the chainsaw. She’d ask us what I had for lunch, and what I’d had for tea last night. I’d always say the same thing: meat. Susan liked meat too. And I liked her. I liked her so much and she liked meat so much that I... well, that don't matter. All that matters is I've still got her, in a way. She's right here in my chainsaw."

Deadfolk

Meet the Deadfolk: the Stranger on the Stranger

You know that guy who comes into Hoppers and upsets Blake, asking all kinds of questions and suggesting that the door staff are ropey? He's the Stranger. Call him a hitman, call him an outsider version of Blake, call him a "flash cunt from the big city" (As Blake does), call him what the hell you like, but what you can't call him is... erm, I don't know. Shall we just let him explain?

Name:	Stranger
Birthplace:	City
Occupation:	Hitman
Fave film:	Mission Impossible

“Muppets. That’s what they’re full of, these shit towns like Mongrel or whatever they call it. And they don’t even know it. They’re goldfish, swimming around in a little glass bowl and thinking it’s the whole world. So what does that make me? A shark. A shark in a goldfish suit. Come to slice up all the little fishies and fry 'em up for tea. It's too easy really. But someone has to do it. Get in, do a job and get the fuck out again. but not before I get my jollies. That bird behind the bar at that Hoppers place - she'll do. I saw the way she looked at me when I went in. I bet she's never seen someone like me. Saying that, it's not hard to look the business when I'm stood next to divs like that turnip head bouncer in there. But she can wait. Business first.”

Deadfolk

Meet the Deadfolk: Mandy on Mandy

When it comes to empowered females, really it comes down to Ripley from Alien, Marge Gunderson from Fargo, Pat Butcher from Eastenders... and Mandy Munton from Deadfolk. But it takes hardship to discover one's inner steel, and Mandy certainly has a lot of that, sharing a house with the three notorious Munton boys. But let's hear her tell it...

Name:	Mandy Munton
Birthplace:	Mangel
Occupation:	n/a
Fave film:	Thelma & Louise

“I knows there is a world out there. I seen it on telly. I watches it every day, turning on after my brothers goes out in their van. You can fit in five or six different places between hoovering, cleaning, washing and cooking. America, Australia, Scotland... you can travel the planet on that telly. I’ve heard folks around here saying them places ain’t real, that they’ve been invented just for the programs. But I know different. I feel it when I look at the hills, the sun. There’s hundreds of other people under that same sun, and they can’t all be in Mangel. Sometimes I wonder if it’s this town that ain’t real, if it’s God playing a sick joke on us all. Not that I’d say that aloud. I’ve only ever said it to one person, when I were younger. That were Blake, the feller used to work for my brothers when they owned Hoppers. I ain't sure, but I think he understood. There's only one way I'll know for certain, and that's if he ever comes back for me.”

Deadfolk

Meet the Deadfolk: Lee on Lee

Ah, Lee Munton. Eldest scion of that famous Mangel clan. What happened to you, Lee? Where did it all go wrong? When did you become the bad guy? But maybe you're not? Maybe you're just misunderstood? Hey, I'm sorry but as far as we're concerned, you're Royston Blake's nemesis. Or one of them. Most people in Mangel are Blake's nemesis at one point or other. So go easy on yourself...

Name:	Lee Munton
Birthplace:	Mangel
Occupation:	Local businessman
Fave film:	Porn

“Our dad weren’t happy about dying. Not cos he were afraid of it, but cos he never wanted me running Hoppers. But it were shite, the way he had it. It were like an old folks home, and he got shite singers and magicians performing some nights. Soon as I took over I kicked the old punters out. And them shite singers. Strippers is what punters wants. And loud music played out of big speakers, not some fucking twats with guitars and tambourines. And it would have worked out, if only I hadn’t let our Baz get involved. It was him who fucked up the books, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t unfuck them. And then there was Blake, who I’d given the simple job of setting fire to the place. Only he could fuck that up the way he did, getting someone killed. But none of them fuck-ups comes even close to the big one – not having no insurance. I still ain’t sure who to blame there.”

Deadfolk

Meet the Deadfolk: Sal on Sal

Next up in the Deadfolk tour of characters is Sal, Royston Blake's on-off gal. Love her or loathe her, Sal is central in Blake's life, even if he ignores everything she says and doesn't give her a moment's thought unless he needs something...

Name:	Sal
Birthplace:	Mangel
Occupation:	Ex-stripper
Fave film:	Dirty Dancing

“I saw that Kimberley from school the other day and she said how well I looked. I were happy about that, because she looked like a rhino herself. No matter what else happens in life, you always have to look after yourself. No one else will. Not even them who says they will, like fellers. They says it but they wants summat else, and when they gets that thing they’re off. That’s why I won’t let a feller tie me down. Not even Blakey, who’s always trying to drag me down the aisle. Not that I won’t, one day. No one better comes along, I’d settle for Blakey no problem. But he does worry me. Sometimes I wonder if he’s a bit damaged in the head, especially when he gets angry and breaks things. But you won’t find me worrying for long. Not with all them other fellers out there.”

Meet the Deadfolk: Jonah on Jonah

This time it's one of the, shall we say, peripheral characters from Deadfolk. PC Jonah may not be pivotal to the events that took place in Mangel  during those few days, but he is a stayer. There are few characters who have made it alive through books 1 to 5, and he is one. I just wish he would chill out a bit...

Name:	Jonah
Birthplace:	Mangel
Occupation:	Police constable
Fave film:	Dirty Harry

“They can’t touch me now. None of them, them scumbags who used to think themselves better than me. Who’s better now? Who’s wearing the cloth of authority? See, it don’t matter how many fights you win or lose at school, it’s about what you’ve got up here, in your noggin. And I’ve got it all. There’s nothing stopping me. Alright, so I’m a constable now, but I’m headed for the top. I’ll be running this force before anyone knows it. And where will they be, them wankers from school who thought the world was theirs? In the gutter – that’s where. Especially that Royston Blake. One day he will pay for what he did at primary school. Sometimes I hear a toilet flush and it all comes back to me, and I have to lie down. HE did that. HE will pay. But not yet.”

Meet the Deadfolk: Blake on Blake

Over the next few days, for the pure hell of it, all of the main characters from DEADFOLK will be introducing themselves to you. This is a good thing. You want to meet them. But only through the medium of this blog.

Anyway, first up is the man himself, everyone's favourite small town doorman...

Name:	Royston Blake
Birthplace:	Mangel
Occupation:	Doorman
Fave film:	Rocky III

“You could say Hoppers is the best thing ever happened to me. When I started working here I moved up a few rungs on the career ladder. And it ain’t just about the money – it’s about respect. Fellers started talking to us right, acting polite and not swearing so much. Birds started trying to tap off with us (although, to be fair, things ain’t ever been different on that score). When you looks at it, you see that there ain’t no more important job in Mangel than the one I got. They all wants in Hoppers of a night, and it’s me saying yay or nay. I got total authority here and they all knows it – including the boss. Mind you, there is more to life. I can see meself in one of them nice big detached places out Danghill way, a nice bird in the kitchen and a couple of younguns round me ankles, although they better watch out down there cos I can be clumsy. But that’s the only fault I got, I swear. Which is how come I got to where I am, being the highest community pillar in Mangel. So aye, Hoppers is the best thing ever happened to me. But it goes both ways.”