Not really

In case anyone is wary of clicking on my last post, I can tell you that it doesn't really contain a cure for ass rash. I don't know anything about rashes... especially not ones that affect asses, mules, donkeys or other equine sub-species. So you're OK to click on it. Seriously. That typewriter has made it safer than ever for you to read my posts.

Typecast #6: A Cure for Ass Rash

Typecast #5: Ninja Snakes

The Clacker

Typecast #4

Bigger? Click.

Typecast #3

Click to big it. You know the drill.

Typecast #2

Click to enlarge. The text.

Typecast #1

Might want to click to make it bigger. Might not. Your call.

View from where I am

It doesn't always look like this. Usually there's a couple of dead rabbits in the road.

2010

Hey, here we are in twenty-ten. I can still feel a 2009 vibe going on myself, but then I can still feel a 1987 vibe going on. I'm told it is a new year, whether I like it or not, and I should find myself a new vibe.

"Same shit, diff dec" cometh to mind, but that's me being cynical. Some shit will be the same, yes, but that's good shit. Such as the Harrogate Crime Writing Festival, where I will be a guest again after a four year cooling off per... er, I mean absence. That is very kind of the organisers and a certain bearded one in particular.

Plus there's some actual new shit in the pipeline, so to speak. I have a book coming out some time in the middle of the year. Details tbc, but it's going to be a short, criminal read from an independent publisher that is not Serpent's Tail. I'm also writing a novel (as ever), but that is unlikely to hit the shelves this year, if indeed it ever does (so that's not even new shit yet, just theoretical shit).

So here's your new vibe for 2010... "keep on keeping on".

NY

Wishing you all a happy new year. But, really, what difference does it make if I wish you a good one or a bad one or any kind of a one? Do you really think my wishes make a difference, or yours and anyone's? My friend, get real. We're all going to have whatever kind of new year fate has in store for us, and the only thing that might change that is our own efforts, if we're lucky.

Still, happy new year.

Three reasons why Amir Khan should fight Ricky Hatton ASAP

1. Amir Khan is the world champion (WBA). As such, he is at the top of the tree. He should be capable of taking on anyone, otherwise he should not carry that belt. Yet people still say he should take some time and a few easier fights before tackling the big guys in his weight class. People see him as a bit of a junior, and that hurts him. And he will never be hailed as even the best light-welter in his own country until Ricky Hatton retires. Or he beats him. Ergo, the only way for Amir to achieve the respect he craves at home is to beat the man. And beat him before his obesity retires him.

2. Oh yes, Ricky Hatton is fat. His usual weight between fights, if he walked in a ring at that weight he would be a light-heavy, or even cruiser. And yet he fights at light-welter. He eats fry-ups, takeaways and guzzles beer. So... no one takes him seriously in the long term as a boxer. No athlete treats their body like that, therefore he is not a serious athlete. and yet he has ruled at world class, and been beaten only twice - by the pound for pound best boxer in the world, each time. Ergo, the only way to prove to the world that he is not past it is to beat the youngest, most dangerous and consistently fit up-and-comer around, a guy who holds the WBA belt - once Ricky's own. Oh, he's that guy just down the road in Bolton.

3. Remember Benn and Eubank? Remember the frisson of excitement when those two went toe to toe? Well, picture Khan-Hatton. Something of the same? Beneath Khan's braggadocio has always lurked a visible sense of his own fallibility, and nowhere would it be more apparent than facing the fat man. Hatton knows he could be one fight from oblivion, that if this fast kid with undeniably better skills beats him, he is on a one-way ticket to a collesterol-saturated retirement. Both have everything to gain and everything to lose, but the fight cannot be avoided - it has the word destiny stamped all over it. (See how easy it is to market this fight?)

So there you go, three reasons why this fight would be the best thing to happen in UK boxing for years... and MUST happen. And here's one reason why it will never happen:

4. Frank Warren is a c***.