King Media

Anyone else think this is a bit wrong? Don't get me wrong - I'm all for lynching convicted killers, but this guy has only just been arrested. He has not been found guilty of anything. And to top it off, they've arrested another guy, no doubt soon to be sacrificed at the alter of King Media. So, one of those guys is guilty. And the other, though innocent, has his life ruined.

Also note the terrible myspace publicity. If ever there was a thing to put people off joining a club, it's the thought of mixing with serial prostitute killers. Maybe.

BBC Sports Personality Bollocks

What a pile of horse shit. Who seriously gives a fuck about equestrianism, other than posh "old money" people who are so inbred that they are actually related to horses? "Thank you to my parents," says Zara Rhodes, or whatever her name is, "for throwing literally millions of pounds at me over the years - money supplied by British taxpayers, or revenue from the crown estates, which we own by divine right, because we are royal and we have blue blood. Oh, and I go out with a pug-faced rugby player, so you're not allowed to call me a snob."

Everybody knows Joe Calzaghe should have got it. Boxing is a proper sport. In boxing, you don't have a staggeringly expensive horse to do all the fucking work for you. Mind you, there's an idea... horse boxing.

fuck sake

Been looking at Amazon.com. They have this "books on related topics" feature which seems to scan the text of a book and work out, using clever jiggery pokery based on shared phrases, what other books you might like.

Take my second novel, FAGS AND LAGER. Amazon offers up PORNO by Irvine Welsh and SLIDER by Patrick Robinson, as well as DEADFOLK by Charlie Williams. The "related topics" my book shares with PORNO are "fuck sake", "fuckin pint", "other cunt" and "big cunt". Smart, eh? For SLIDER it's "head doorman", "fuck sake" and "fucking hell". The shared topics with DEADFOLK are too numerous to list, but you can take it from me that "fuck sake" in there.

So, if you know someone who is a fan of "fuck sake", or just curious about "fuck sake", I can recommend those four books as a nice Christmas present for that person. Probably not a good idea to buy them any Japanese liquor. (Or maybe it is? Maybe a bottle of sake with a suitably sized orifice opening would be just thing?)