Tuesday, June 01, 2010

"Because wanker, probably"


I love automated translation. I love translation in general, and have a lot of respect for the guys and gals who turned Royston Blake's tales into other lingos. I'm not so keen when I find entire texts of those translations posted online, but it at least allows us to consider some possible improvements on the original text. Please turn your critical faculties up to 11 for this extract from the Russian version of Deadfolk (translated back into English via Google translate):

At home I put on my favorite sports suit and collapsed in front of TV. It was a movie about a guy who went and killed the maid, I opened a beer and got ready to watch. I thought it was down to the basement and search base. But the good of it still will not. I was looking for, and it was not there, that's all. And the movie was dull. Each time a man took out a knife and wanted someone to cut, the camera started to show something else. I clicked and found a channel, where two maids sucking and fingering each other's boobs. It was better. I undid his pants and began to watch. After that I CHE-ta very relaxed. Because wanker, probably. I closed my eyes. Just closed on a couple of seconds. I did not sleep, nothing. I was awakened by a call phone. Or a knock at the door. I'm not sure. In any case, wake up, it was not very pleasant. I buttoned up the fly and went up, thinking it was going to her finally can. He opened the door.
Erm, just to reiterate - THIS IS NOT THE ORIGINAL TEXT. Nor even anything like it. Most of the choicest words here don't even appear in the original. (I think "CHE-ta" is in there somewhere, though.)

7 comments:

Karin M said...

I don't really remember the maids. Time for a reread?

Matt said...

You cant beat a bit of language study, my morning is going to be taken up pondering how to get "Beacuse wanker, probably" into day to day life more... A project I was working years ago had me exchanging emails with a guy that worked at a Spannish Oil Refinery, in english, Im not sure what translator he was using, but the outlook was not bleak, oh no... "The Panorama is very dark" Ive used that a lot since

Charlie Williams said...

Maids are like that in Mangel. At least on Mangel TVs.

I think life is full of "Because wanker, probably" moments if you look for them. Maybe we shouldn't look for them. "The panorama is very" is way better. That's the spanish oil refinery in hell, right?

Paul D. Brazill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Paul D. Brazill said...

I can't stop laughing at this....

Matt said...

Im sure you're right, "Because wanker, probably" moments should be left alone, on the other hand "Probably because [I'm a] wanker" moments are impossible to avoid, daily it would seem, they look for me.

Charlie Williams said...

Paul - it's a classic, isn't it? Those two maids... reminds me of what Roy Keane said to Mick McCarthy at the 2002 world cup.

Matt - they track me down too. Such is the human condition. The panorama is very dark.