Small dilemma

A few months ago I saw a new play advertised at my local theatre. It's called BOUNCERS, and it looked right up my street, me being a purveyor of doorman literature and all. When I looked into it, I found that this was a play with a long history and a big reputation. No way was I going to miss it, so I bought tickets.

For this Saturday night.

Shite.

You've got to understand - back then, no one would have anticipated England making it to the Rugby World Cup Final. But there they are - the ragtag band of iron-willed brothers who just will not lie down (when Jonny is playing), versus the awesome team from the New World who kicked their pale arses out of sight not so long back.

Part of me thinks "Sod it. Don't go. Watch the game - which is surely the most hotly anticipated game in history in any sport - and catch the play some other time. Lisa won't mind missing a rare night out."

Another part thinks: "This is fate. This clash of interests was preordained months... nay, millenia ago and you cannot tinker with it. For whatever reason, the England Rugby Team requires that you sit this one out in a non-TV environment. They will do what they have to do, and you will come out of the theatre and find out how it went. Trust me - it'll be just as exciting."

Another part of me thinks: "Bring a little TV into the theatre. No one is going to be there anyway. Not even the cast!"

Another part of me says: "You honestly think Lisa won't mind missing a rare night out?"

Yet another part says: "Ring the theatre. Make them understand the importance of the occasion and tell them to put up a big screen instead of the play. The cast can watch it and everything."

Then there's the bit that says: "Ring up Paris just before the game. Tell them you've planted a b..." No, don't listen. Don't listen!

COME ON ENGLAND!