Monday, May 14, 2007


I admire writers who write with their balls out. Your balls, they are not those things down your pants. They are the things that allow you to write from within, and not filter it through some theoretical idea of popular opinion. Your balls allow you to write human stories and not approved material. Your balls are not concerned with wrong- or right-headedness. Your balls are you.

I admire writers who write with their cock on the block. Your cock, it is not that thing down your pants. It is your public reputation, and the idea of yourself that you want to project. He is the Sid Vicious you see in the mirror, not the Phil Collins that everyone sees when they look your way. Safe writing is the kind that does not take risks. It is concerned with making the reader think that the author is nice, or at least not hate him or her. You should risk that wrath.

I admire writers who write with their arse on display. Your arse, it is not that area down the back of your pants. It is the thing that (sorry) makes people laugh. This is about putting in a joke when you're not sure if it's the right moment. This is about deriving mirth from questionable sources. If there is humour there, it must be funny. Why deny it? Suppress gallows humour and you end up with sick jokes circulating via email and no one knowing who started them (until it all blows over... and then everyone claims them).

I admire authors who write with their tits out. Not sure why, just sounds like a good idea.

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