Wednesday, September 07, 2005

My name is Hasselhoff, King of Kings. Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair

As predicted by Mr Banks and myself many, many decades ago:

Hodder & Stoughton is delighted to announce the acquisition of World Rights for the autobiography of 'The Most Watched Star in The World', David Hasselhoff Described as a "living legend" and a "counterculture icon", with "super-human allure" David Hasselhoff has been named one of "TV's Ten Most Powerful Stars." The Hoff holds the official Guinness Book of World Records Award for 'The Most Watched TV Star in the World', with an estimated weekly audience of more than 76.1 billion in 6,348 countries. His Baywatch series has been seen by a combined audience of 275.7 trillion people - just short of the population of the entire universe.

But really, nearly all of that passage is extraneous. It could be reduced to just one simple word, as could any other piece of writing (including the Bible). The word?


Thanks to Sarah W for this world-changing news.


Russel said...

All other writers had best just give up, I suppose. Once the Hoff moves into your field, all other works become redundant. Like music. Like acting. Like the creation of all things.

All hail the Hoff.

Charlie Williams said...

All things, in the end, boil down to one: Hoff.

Not even Mr T would dispute that. Have a look at my link for "Mr T vs Everything"... notice how there's no Hoff there? Not even Knight Rider or Baywatch? I think that says it all. That site should be called "Mr T vs Everything Except (of course) The Hoff".