Oh yeah...

...I totally forgot about this blog for a few weeks there. Hope you've all been OK. In truth I've been busting my balls for a while, trying to get a book written as well as all the other life-type stuff. Autumn is a good time for me, and I wanted to see how far I could ride the energy it seems to bring me. All the way, it seems. Here's to autumn...

Student forced to put fish in bra and then eat it

This BBC article is so good on so many levels. Eg:

"We had to put matches in private, inappropriate areas and set them on fire whilst drinking more beer."

Fun article, right? But note the "DEATHS" heading near the bottom, reminding us that this is actually a serious issue and not just a sorry excuse for a news item, written by someone with no eyes, ears, sense of smell or touch, limbs, head, torso, inappropriate area or anything. In fact this article was written by a gas. A harmless, useless gas. Xenon, perhaps.

CRIMEWAVE

Crime fiction fans should check out the new issue of CRIMEWAVE magazine, which contains a story of mine called YOUR PLACE IS IN THE SHADOWS. Mangel completists should be aware that the story is set in that town. They should also check out the latest edition of "The Mangel Completist" magazine, which contains a full list of Mangel-related items, including the new "Take yer vittles and piss off!" T-shirt (one size fits all).

Back to CRIMEWAVE, also of note (besides the awe-inspiring cover, below) is a short piece by Steve Rasnic Tem, one of my favourite writers. He is the best at what he does, and so is Crimewave. But don't take my word for it. Listen to the man:

"A must-have collection of the hottest crime stories around" - Ian Rankin

Beautiful kick in the subconscious

Back in 2006, I raved thus:

And then there's Paul Meloy, whose short stories quite simply remove me from the face of this planet of ours. Meloy lives and writes in the hinterland between dreams and reality**, which is the perfect place to set up a desk and typewriter, if you ask me. Reading one of his stories is like getting a beautiful kick in the subconscious. Of course, I'm teasing you. This is a guy, one of the best writers in the world, who has nothing published in book form. (Most of his stories so far have come out in The Third Alternative (now renamed "Black Static" - Ed.) It's well worth tracking down back issues down just for the Meloy material.) But that will change one day. Oh yes, you will know about him in time. And remember: you read it here first. When you finally discover the awe-inspiring visions of Paul Meloy you can come back here and thank me. And buy my books.

Guess what?

Paul Meloy has a collection out. And I didn't even have to do it myself.

ISLINGTON CROCODILES is published by TTA Press. Buy now and forever pat yourself on the back for getting in on the ground floor.


** Cambridge

IMDB

Hey, I've finally made it into the pages of the Internet Movie Database, a resource I've been poring over as a cinema fan ever since it started (the IMDB, not cinema itself). In that world I'm known as Charlie Williams VIII, like a cross between George Hamilton IV and Henry VIII and... erm... someone called Charlie Williams. Obviously this credit is down to my recent efforts working up the screenplay for the short film ARK (currently showing at a film festival near you, as long as you're in Palm Springs). However...

(There's always a however, ain't there?)

You will note that there are two writers down as writers of Ark. Charlie Williams and Charlie Williams. You click on one and it leads to me - CW8 (as they say). But click on the other and you get CW7, born 28 November, 2002.

The guy is not yet six years old, and I have to share a writing credit with him?

Industrial Strength Interview

New interview conducted by Andrew Rivers is up at Byker Books. Check it out. Good questions are asked and crap answers given, as ever. Also peruse the other interviews of Danny King and Max Kinnings. And all the other great stuff on the site.

ARK and Palm Springs

Hello. ARK has been accepted for inclusion in the 2008 Palm Springs International Shortfest, August 21-27. We're not talking Bognor Regis here. We're not talking Scunthorpe, Stranraer or Batley. We are talking Palm Springs. Never has a place name conjured up such images of living la dolce vita. Palm trees, er... springs... it's all there.

As I was saying, ARK has been accepted at the 2008 Palm Springs International Shortfest, August 21-27. This means that YOU will get to watch it if you find yourself in that palmy, springy place. Just to whet your appetite (and to get those filthy images of palms and springs out of your head), here are some pics:






That's ARK, ladies and gents, starring Simone Lahbib and Raffaello Degruttola, directed by Mal Woolford, produced by Andrea Thornton and written by George Lucas. Just kidding.

This is the end

Beau-tiful friend, the end.

No, I'm not getting all apocalyptic on your asses, just wanted to share the two words I typed last night on my novel-in-progress:

THE END

What a relief. A year, this has taken me to do the first draft. A year! But the relief is shortlived, and within minutes you're back in there, chipping away at this big block of stone that vaguely resembles a novel...

I'll tell you what, though - I had a blast drafting it. There are many modes of writing and the first draft is the most fun (and the biggest pain). You're walking into rooms blind, not knowing what you'll find there or how compliant that new character you've cast is going to be. For me at least, going commando-style (ie: working with no visible outline), it's a proper adventure. The real graft begins on draft 2, but there's no recapturing that struggle to get your character's ass out of the flames. Or fully into them, depending on what kind of novel it is.

One more time:

THE END

You missed it

If you were in Peterborough last night you could have caught the world premiere of ARK at the Space4 Film Festival. Due to long-standing commitments I wasn't there, but I hope those who did attend had a good time and enjoyed the film. Any other screenings, I'll be sure to let you know in advance. And maybe be there.

Arrows

Never mind Spain winning the Euros, Manny Pacqiao whipping the ass of David Diaz or Andy Murray reaching the Wimbledon quarters... I just threw two darts at a board in succession - the second landing IN THE TAIL OF THE FIRST. You know that tiny crosshair where the flight goes? That's where No. 2 went! And stayed. It didn't do that crosshair much good, but hey - this is one of those once-in-a-lifetime things. But this is a serious post, and I have a serious question...

What happens in a competitive game when that happens? Has it ever happened?

Am I unique?

Did anyone notice any strange lights in the sky, around 21:10 BST? Maybe some rumblings, like thunder?

Novel writing tip

If you're in the midst of writing a novel, or any other kind of prose, be wary of what you read. Or watch. Books, films and quality TV shows with a strong, distinctive voice can influence your own style. Sometimes in a bad way, but other times for the better. But even if it improves your piece, tread carefully. Plagiarism is a dirty word. Only yesterday, after watching an old DVD, I blanched in horror, ran to the keyboard and opened up my work in progress, CHARLIE WILLIAMS'S OBSCURE LOCATION. Sure enough, there was that line:

"As I rounded the corner I felt muscular and compact. Like corned beef."

It broke my heart to cut such an inspired simile, but imagine if I had noticed it AFTER publication, with the book on millions of shelves around the world and heading for a big Hollywood adaptation starring Benicio del Toro? No, the line had to go. Or at least undergo some changes. So I changed it to:

"As I went round the corner I felt compact and muscular. Like Spam."

Platform games

I was reading this post about screenwriters crossing over to novels on English Dave's excellent telly-writing blog, and it got me thinking. I totally agree, by the way. Stories are stories. If you've got the instinct you can tell them in any format. The only obstacles are technical ones, and you can get over those. Nuff said.

But it was something else (and coffee) that got the brain cells moving. The idea that you get more respect as a novelist than you do as a screenwriter. I would say that, yes, you get some semblance of respect as a novelist. Your name gets printed a lot more and you actually get the public and critical credit for the work you've done. In a weird, slightly anaemic way, you even get some celebrity. Invitations to parties, VIP treatment at festivals, interviews in the papers, foreign travel etc.... I've had all that. But

BUT

No fucking money. Or not much anyway.

Oh yeah, you get paid for everything. And the figures even look good on paper sometimes. But making an actual LIVING out of it? Forget that.

Which makes you look at that "respect" you've been getting and wonder if it is that after all.

Don't get me wrong - I am far from having a go at the paymasters. Mr Market-Forces is right there outside the window. He's a big bad wolf and he'll get you if you're weak. This is not a socialist republic and you can't expect a penny unless that wolf says you're worth it.

But still, writing is work.

If you're one of the few, you'll make a good living from it. I don't count myself in that number yet but I have friends who do. And when I say make a living I mean a sustainable one. Many apparent "successes" get paid a shitload for a first two-book-deal and fuck all thereafter, because the sales weren't up to it. There's a big red number where there should be a big black one.

Game over.

Writing is a bitch, no matter what the platform.

But still we pursue her, running after her with flowers and fine perfumes and rhyming couplets. Because she's captivating and beautiful. And we're tough motherfuckers. Or saps.

Or both.