Thursday, March 24, 2005

"Have a good Easter"

That's what people are saying today. Have a good Easter. And it's driving me nuts.

Don't get me wrong - I know they just mean Enjoy the break from work in a very offhand way, but the phrase just jars the hell out of me. They're trying to be nice, but as soon as I hear those words I get very, very graphic images in my head.

Have a few beers and take it easy, they're saying. But by then I'm thinking about massive, fatal injuries inflicted on a guy who can't even get his elbows down to protect his ribs. Maybe do a bit of gardening, the friendly acquaintance is saying by now. Meanwhile I'm picturing a world in turmoil, cast into the agonising flames of spiritual struggle on a massive scale. You really need a rest, mate, they're saying, noticing my sudden pallor. And I'm picturing a poor dead guy kicked out of his cosy tomb by his old man, after only three days to get over the mother of all beatings.

And you know what the stupid thing is? I'm not even religious.

Anyway, have a good long weekend.


Jennifer Jordan said...

What about the bunny that hides colored eggs and brings baskets of plastic grass and candy?

Charlie Williams said...

Yeah, I think the poor guy had that to contend with too.

Anonymous said...

Never mind that.... I just want to know what a "doofer" is; come on, Charlie, what was in that box?

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