Why can't I make my region 2 DVD player play region 1 DVDs? I've found half a dozen so-called "secret codes" that go something like...
- take your remote
- press Setup
- press 1
- press Yes
- press 5
- press 3
- press Off
- press On
- flip the thing in the air and let it spin three times before catching it
- spread it thinly with honey
- stare at it for exactly nine minutes, concentrating really hard
- punch it
- punch yourself. Hard. In the face
- chuck it in the river and stand there, hopping on one leg, for 45 seconds
- get pissed on cooking sherry
- get on a train to Huddersfield and sing "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" by Jermaine Stewart 18 times
- get pissed on cherry wine
- remove all your hair with a Brillo pad. ALL of it
OK. I go down the local DVD player shop that will remain unnamed for legal reasons (Dixons) and say, "Can I have a DVD player that will play.... etc"
She looks at me for a while and says: "etc? I've never heard of that one." OK, boom boom. No, she takes in my beaten-up, strangely hairless appearance for a while and then points to this nice little number in matt grey on a display shelf.
"So that plays region 1 DVD's, right?" I say, flicking a bit of Brillo off my ear.
"Yes," she says. "All you have to do is enter this secret code, that you can pick up on the web..."
Anyway... to whom it may concern (and you know who you are): I'm trying to watch the fucking film. Honest I am. And I really, really want to watch it. But I may just have to hop on a plane and come over to your house before I can do it.
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