Thursday, May 26, 2005

Dog Day Afternoon

Anyone know about dogs? I've got two. They're younguns really, between puppydom and adulthood. But I tell you - they're barmy.


The one tries to bite your nose off (but in a friendly, loving way) whenever you so much as look at him. The other eats everything. I mean everything. He projectile vomited all over the wall last night, and I got a little snapshot of his diet. I found (besides the food we give him):

  • stones
  • polystyrene (a lot)
  • wood
  • leaves
  • grass (a lot)
  • sweetcorn (where the hell did he find that? How does sweetcorn always find its way into these things?)
  • beads
  • (beads?)
  • yes, beads
  • one penny (very shiny)
  • one pair khaki Action Man trousers (soiled)
  • (no sign of Action Man)
  • pencils

OK, so I merged two voms into one to get that list, but you see what my problem is. How do I get this beast to slow up on the chow? (Or at least, be a bit more selective.) Last week he apparently cornered a young rabbit and ate it whole, head first. Now that's good - I can put up with that kind of snacking. (In fact, that's what he's here for.) But... polystyrene?.

(And who the hell has been feeding him sweetcorn?)

Any tips?


Jai said...

ah. after breeding my dog and looking after her 6 puppies I can only say it's a very special time! Enjoy!

Jennifer Jordan said...

My dog ate vast amounts of marbles. Where he got them from is a mystery.

Apparently he also ate elastic, buttons, Barbie body parts (especially feet), erasers and Hot Wheels track.

We now have a cat that prefers pears, crackers and maple syrup to kibble and fish.

All a part of the grand joke God is having on us. He is also responsible for hangovers, the odd hair we grow when we get old and LSD.