Thursday, May 26, 2005

Dog Day Afternoon

Anyone know about dogs? I've got two. They're younguns really, between puppydom and adulthood. But I tell you - they're barmy.

Barmy.

The one tries to bite your nose off (but in a friendly, loving way) whenever you so much as look at him. The other eats everything. I mean everything. He projectile vomited all over the wall last night, and I got a little snapshot of his diet. I found (besides the food we give him):

  • stones
  • polystyrene (a lot)
  • wood
  • leaves
  • grass (a lot)
  • sweetcorn (where the hell did he find that? How does sweetcorn always find its way into these things?)
  • beads
  • (beads?)
  • yes, beads
  • one penny (very shiny)
  • one pair khaki Action Man trousers (soiled)
  • (no sign of Action Man)
  • pencils

OK, so I merged two voms into one to get that list, but you see what my problem is. How do I get this beast to slow up on the chow? (Or at least, be a bit more selective.) Last week he apparently cornered a young rabbit and ate it whole, head first. Now that's good - I can put up with that kind of snacking. (In fact, that's what he's here for.) But... polystyrene?.

(And who the hell has been feeding him sweetcorn?)

Any tips?

2 comments:

Jai said...

ah. after breeding my dog and looking after her 6 puppies I can only say it's a very special time! Enjoy!

Jennifer Jordan said...

My dog ate vast amounts of marbles. Where he got them from is a mystery.

Apparently he also ate elastic, buttons, Barbie body parts (especially feet), erasers and Hot Wheels track.

We now have a cat that prefers pears, crackers and maple syrup to kibble and fish.

All a part of the grand joke God is having on us. He is also responsible for hangovers, the odd hair we grow when we get old and LSD.