Monday, June 27, 2005

Touch my base

Don't you just hate the phrase "touch base"? It's a horrible, horrible phrase. It's right up there with "proactive" as one of the most hateful pieces of business-speak ever to be uttered in air-conditioned, open plan environment. "Let's touch base next week," they say. Euurghh. You want to touch base with me? You can fuck right off, mate. Go and touch someone else's base, you fucking weirdo.

Anyway, I don't really have much to post about, so I thought I'd just, you know, touch base. And while I'm here, how about a spot of keyword analysis? These keywords have been leading people (thankfully anonymous) to

brown pages
home desine
mangel wheel
hillman imp
informer song
bollocks tied up and gagged
what is wrong with the youth today
my favourite song
fucking with a pigg
mangel wheels
And moving over to, this one stands out:

charles williams standing in the way
That's a bit ominous, isn't it? Maybe I should be watching my back. Maybe I should be on guard next time that guy goes "Hey, let's touch base"...


Russel said...

At CSS we get people finding us through a variation on the pig fucking thing, too. But we do have a monopoly on "Banana in rectum" I believe. And this month we've had an alarming amount of people come to us through "she wet her panties" and variations thereof. Which is worrying (what they end up with, of course, is a review of an episode of L&O which had a guy with a banana in his butt and a short story in which someone get so scared she wets herself and I doubt that was what these guys were looking for).

Anyone touches my base I break their nose (ho!ho!)

Charlie Williams said...

But why the "gg" in pig? What are they teaching perverts in school these days?

"she wet her panties"... Come to think of it, Russel, I think that's how I discovered CSS.

Russel said...

You're right, double "g" in pig - maybe they were looking to fuck Malcolm Pigg, you never know... But perverts are well catered for in the modern education system; its all about inclusion, you know.

At last the mystery solved of my mysterious pervert vistors - though come to think of it I really should have known all along...

Lynn said...

Crossing "touch base" from my verbal shorthand list. I would like to strangle the next woman who asks me to "do lunch." If I'm going to do something, it had better be more interesting than a club sandwich.

Sandra Scoppettone said...

I couldn't agree more about hating the word proactive. I've never understood how being proactive is somehow more than being active.

I also hate preowned. Don't we all know that means used?